one_million.mp3
Man at casino- "I'll give you one million dollars to sleep with your wife" Paul and Jamie- "Great!"
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ostrich.mp3
Allison- "How is the ostrich prepared?" Paul- "They break it to him gently"
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parcel.mp3
(Maggie outside and Jamie inside eating her parcel) Jamie- "Can I help you?" Maggie- "You signed for a parcel" Jamie- "A parcel?" Maggie- "A parcel, yes, a cheesecake from England" Jamie- "We have no parcel" Maggie- "Must I talk with the door?" Jamie- "Yes, there's measels" Maggie- "I shall have my parcel" Jamie- "No you shan't you British freak"
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peanut.mp3
Jamie- "Really don't call me that" Paul- "Why what's wrong with peanut?" Jamie- "Nothing if you have a hat and cane and live on the side of a jar"
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penzance.mp3
(Paul and Jamie singing to the tune of Pirates of Penzance) Jamie- "Now the show is done, and we can all watch as the credits roll" Paul- "They have a list of all the folks who work, you see its on a scroll" Jamie- "Look at all the people that it takes to make a TV show" Paul- "Sixty-four of them, I gotta tell you, I don't even know" Jamie- "This song is stuck within my head" Paul- "There's no way I can go to bed" Jamie- "Let's ask this man who's name is Ed" Paul- "Is there another song instead?"
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perfect_guy.mp3
Lisa- "Trust me, you married the perfect guy" Jamie- "Oh yea, unless your like sitting in a restaurant starving to death waiting to order: 'I..I'm thinking soup...but..ah..they only have bisque..and..ah..I'm uneasy with bisque, I don't know why'"
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purpose_serve.mp3
Jamie- "What purpose does it serve?" Paul- "It's just hair on the face, it doesn't have a purpose! it makes me look rugged" Jamie- "It really doesn't"
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push_buttons.mp3
Jamie- "It's strange, I'm 30 years old, I'm married, I have a home, I have a job, how come my parents can still push all my buttons?" Paul- "Oh that's easy, they installed them"
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refrig_humm.mp3
(talking about the refrigerator humming)Paul- You don't hear that?" Jamie- "I don't hear it" Paul- "Its humming, its like a high hum, like mmmm, mmmm, you don't find that annoying?" Jamie- "Yes, I do"
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relaxed_drugs.mp3
(Jamie at the hospital on drugs) Nurse- "Do you feel relaxed?" Jamie- "Yesh, I mean, yesh, yesh. I wanna say 'yesh' but I'm saying 'yesh'"
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