nodance.mp3Carol: You wanna dance? Melvin: Well, I've been thinking about that since you brought it up before. Carol: And? Melvin: No. [ Contrib. by ]
oneeye.mp3Melvin: I'm afraid he might pull the stiff one eye on me. Carol: I'm sorry..the "stiff one eye"? [ Contrib. by ]
personal.mp3Carol: Do you have any control over how creepy you allow yourself to get? Melvin: Yes I do, as a matter of fact. And to prove it, I haven't gotten personal and you have. [ Contrib. by ]
pissant.mp3Simon: You miss the tough guy? Well here I am, sweetheart! Happy to see me, you little pissant mop? How about another ride down the chute? [ Contrib. by ]
reason.mp3Secretary: How do you write women so well? Melvin: I think of a man, and then I take away reason and accountability. [ Contrib. by ]
selcrazy.mp3Melvin: Where did they teach you to talk like this? At some Panama City sailor-wanna-hump-hump bar, or is this getaway day and your last shot at his whiskey? Sell crazy someplace else...we're all stocked up here. [ Contrib. by ]
sendback.mp3Carol's Mom: This isn't like stockings. This isn't a string of pearls. You don't send this one back. [ Contrib. by ]
simonfag.mp3Melvin: Ah, Carol the waitress, Simon the fag. [ Contrib. by ]
song.mp3Melvin: Plays piano and sings "Always look on the bright side of your life" for the dog to get him to eat. [ Contrib. by ]
stench.mp3Melvin: Not even if you hear a sound of a thud from my home, and one week later, there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body, and you have to hold a hanky to your face, because the stench is so thick that you think that you're gonna faint. Even then, don't come knocking. [ Contrib. by ]
